Well, it’s been a while since I last posted anything. I wish I could say it was due to leading an exciting and active life but unfortunately the opposite is true. My M.E has taken charge of my life once again and I’ve been in a state of exhaustion and pain for months. As if that wasn’t enough, a whole range of new symptoms seems to creep upon me. I’ve been suffering with a very high heart rate during any activity and blacking out when walking and exercising, as well as terribly high blood pressure, sweating episodes and dizzy spells which attack me whenever I stand up or move. It’s been a hard and emotionally tough time trying to understand why my body feels I need more symptoms to cope with.
I’m lucky that I have a good GP and as soon as I mentioned my new symptoms she did some ECG tests and blood pressure monitoring which seems to point to me having POTS so I’m currently waiting to have more specialised tests with a cardiologist but due to Covid-19 this could be a long wait. Meanwhile I’m left in a limbo where I can’t go a day without feeling physically unwell and where my heart rate seems to think it’s running a marathon when I’m just walking to another room.
Lockdown has been a rather strange experience for me and I expect for anyone with a chronic illness. It seems the whole world has been confined to their homes and discovered the mental and physical consequences of isolation. Where as, those of us with chronic illnesses have just coped as we usually do being housebound and having limited outside experiences. It definitely gave my parents a new perspective on my illness. They’ve always been supportive and understanding but having experienced the isolation and confinement of lockdown has opened their eyes to the life I live being stuck indoors so much and going long stretches without seeing friends.
Hopefully something good will come out of this lockdown experience in terms of understanding chronic illness. I hope that more people will understand the loneliness and isolation we feel and be less judgemental.
I hope to return to writing regularly again. If only to vent my frustrations and discuss my worries and experiences.