All my life I have lived with pets. I grew up with dogs, hamsters, birds, a bunny and ferrets. When I was in my teens I got into keeping rats and this has been a passion of mine ever since. Then I adopted a cat and completed my pet family. My pets are a huge part of my life and they’ve made coping with M.E easier. They provide constant companionship and this is appreciated when I’m housebound for long periods of time. My mental health and motivation is made stronger with them in my life.

This summer I decided I wanted to add a puppy to my life. It was something I had to think on; my M.E fluctuates and there are days I can barely get out of bed. But I’m in a stronger place now than a few years ago, I know better how to pace myself and when to stop pushing myself. I’ve learned to listen to my body more and rest when needed. I decided a puppy would be a new challenge…and it has been in ways I never even thought about!

A few months ago I was approached by a rescue centre who had a 15 week old Maltese puppy. A toy breed was not something I originally wanted, but when I heard this puppy’s story I was committed. This 15 week old pup had been bred in a puppy farm abroad, separated from his mother at 4 weeks; concealed in a lorry with his siblings and smuggled all the way from Romania to the UK border where authorities discovered him. Some of his siblings had died on the journey but he and 2 other puppies had survived. I’m a huge animal advocate and there is no way I could not give this little puppy a better life. So I adopted him after his quarantine, named him Gizmo and it has been a rewarding but challenging experience so far!

I knew a puppy would mean getting up early to let him out but I never thought it would be such a difficult job for someone with M.E. I take regular medication at night before bed to manage pain as it often stops me sleeping. My pain has always been worse at night and restless legs have been a huge problem for me. Taking medication before bed allows me to sleep easier and with less pain and discomfort. But, it makes early mornings extremely difficult. The medication makes me very groggy when waking up, my whole body feels like its been weighed down and it’s a struggle to get up out of bed quickly. Normally this isn’t so much of a problem because I will just lie in bed until the feeling passes and then I can slowly get out of bed. With M.E it’s important to do things gradually and getting up in the morning is no different. I have to do it in steps, get up and wash, take a break, get dressed, take a break, brush hair and teeth, take a break etc. A puppy with a small bladder has no time for this. Suddenly waking with an alarm, getting up and immediately going outside was a shock to the system. The fact it’s winter makes it ten times worse because one of the worst symptoms of my M.E is not being able to regulate body temperature so I’d go out into the freezing cold but it wouldn’t hit me until later and then my bones would be stiff and sore and I’d be cold despite being inside again. The sudden getting out of bed without waking fully made my fatigue a lot worse. My fatigue is made worse by an alarm going off because I’m not waking naturally; my body isn’t ready to wake up, I’m pushing it to get up and with M.E this has consequences. I managed for a couple of weeks but it quickly became apparent that it was having a negative affect on my energy and fatigue levels. It was really frustrating because I felt like I’d failed at the first hurdle. Luckily my parents are really understanding of my M.E; they are my carers and they always come up with compromises that allow me to handle my symptoms but keep a bit of independence and responsibility. So instead, they began letting Gizmo out in the morning, then he’d come back and sleep with me until I woke naturally. It made things a lot easier, because I was rested when I woke up instead of waking up before I was fully rested.

The early morning was the most challenging part of having Gizmo, I didnt realise how important it was for me to sleep until I was rested enough to wake up naturally. Sleep is of such a low quality for M.E sufferers that we need more than the average person. Getting up with an alarm and getting straight out of bed is difficult with M.E, it isn’t just a case of being lazy or lacking motivation. I was hugely motivated to get up and let Gizmo out, I experienced so much frustration and disappointment when I realised I couldn’t manage that. But M.E doesn’t care about how much motivation you have to do something, if the body physically cant cope then you have to accept it; that’s why it’s such a devastating illness. I’ve experienced another issue I never expected when adopting Gizmo. Because he’s such a small breed of dog, Gizmo frequently needs picking up. It took time for him to master going up and down stairs, he can’t get on my bed or the sofa without being picked up, there are times he can’t get over something and like any small animal, he needs help. After a couple of weeks with Gizmo, I started experiencing awful back pain, a constant ache and spasms in my lower back that left me gritting my teeth in pain. Back pain was one of my worst symptoms when I first developed M.E, it took years to learn to manage that pain. It’s a symptom that improved when I started to pace myself, and avoid jobs that involved repeatedly bending; hoovering, lifting heavy things etc. It was something I never considered when adopting a puppy. It took me a while to realise my worsening back pain was due to the repeated motion of bending to pick Gizmo up. He’s a tiny dog, which means he needs picking up a lot! I’ve managed to find ways around this which has gotten my back pain back to normal levels. I make sure when I pick him up, I don’t bend but squat so I’m using my knees rather than my back. I’ve made steps, so he can get on and off the bed and sofa without needing me to lift him.

Since adopting Gizmo, my fatigue levels have been affected. I’m having to get up and move about more, I’m having to remember to feed him three times a day and put time into training him. But over the weeks it’s gotten easier. Animals are amazing, they are so much smarter than we give them credit for. I’m shocked at how Gizmo has adapted to my illness. When it’s time for bed, he goes into his bed and sleeps through the night until my parents get him up and let him out. He then comes back to bed and sleeps until I’m ready to wake up, it’s like he knows I need that extra time to sleep. I often need to sleep for a few hours during the day because of my fatigue and he’s adapted to his, he comes to bed with me and sleeps at the same time. He’s learned that when I’m awake, it’s playtime and it’s time to be active and hyper but when we go to my bedroom, it’s rest time. If I’m having a particularly bad day where I need to stay in bed then he knows that he has to spend more of the day with my parents. Over the weeks, we’ve established a routine and slowly my fatigue levels are becoming more stable. It’s been harder than I expected, but I wouldn’t change it. It’s tested me and in a way, made me more aware of my limits and what factors can trigger my symptoms to flare up. It’s been a hugely rewarding experience despite the obstacles though, I’ve got a new little friend. Gizmo had a rough start to life and I can’t wait to give him a life filled with love and attention. I’ve already watched his confidence and his personality grow, and I know he’s going to make a great little companion. He’s already boosted my mental health enormously, and it makes living with chronic illness that little less lonely.